It's my 52nd year on earth!

It's my 52nd birthday today and I had a great day with my family consisting of my sister, nephew and nieces together with their children, plus my two grandnephews--Gian and Brian. We celebrated my birthday at Shakey's - SM North. When we had finished our food, we then headed to Trinoma to shop around. We visited Landmark and other fashion boutiques in the area; after walking around the mall for hours, we feel like eating halo-halo so we end up at "Sandosenang Halo". Then, we went home and that was it. It was a very tiring day yet so good! Here are some of our pictures...


















This was my birthday cake with one lit candle on it. Traditionally, the number of candles signifying the age of the celebrant; for a change, I used only one candle which means that I'm one year older today. Actually, I just don't want to reveal my true age... joke! Look, if I put 52 lit candles on top of my cake... it might set off the smoke detector inside the mall and it's so embarrassing - hehehe. Just joking, I know that numeric candle is now available.

My Yesterday, My Today and My Tomorrow

My Yesterday...



I was full of life, full of dreams, full of hopes and aspirations; in other words, I was at the peak of my happiness where life seems so nice and easy!


My Today...



Full of life? I just live from day to day;

Full of dreams? I get tired of dreaming for fate has been very unkind to me--yes, I'm tired of waiting. Maybe it really isn't meant for me...maybe it's just an illusion that dreams do come true; and in the real world, my dreams will remain just a dream till I draw my last breath;

Full of hopes and aspirations? At my age of 52, having nearly zero quick assets and zero fulfillment in my career and in my marriage and to include my deteriorating health--with all these contributing factors to feel disappointed or less hopeful... how do you expect me to respond to this? T o think that it's just the way it is, that it's just a trial and will be over soon enough, that it's a process we must all go through! Then, what's next in line? To find out what life has to offer me now, and to keep on believing that there's always sunshine after the rain. Hoping I could hang in there for a while longer!!! Just like this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt... "When you get to the end of your rope - tie a knot and hang on." I wish it was that easy.



My Tomorrow...



I know not what awaits me, but one thing for sure; at my appointed time, I will leave this world...this crazy world and thus my quest ends!!!

My New Year's Plan

I consider this year a good year to start a new business venture and I'm looking forward to be given the chance to hit it big in the market. I'm putting up my own online business, so I asked my two sisters to make samples of crocheted wearables and their pieces of work came out great which pushed me more to give it a try. To start off the business, I chose to put online some crocheted wearables for kids which are so timely summery get-ups. Here are some of our samples modelled by our three loveable angels--my grand-nieces and probably soon we would come up with a wide array of much more modern and stylish crocheted wearables that will be available not only for kids and young ones but for adults as well.





































Vests with and without sleeves really look fab with any summer outfits. It's fashionable and perfectly made for an up-to-the-minute look; just wear it over tees and tank tops, even dresses and ready to go for any casual walk outdoors. Plus we have here the super comfy summer shorts with matching hanging blouse best fit for active young children. They all come in different sizes and colors.

























For price inquiries you can email me at santoselv@yahoo.com

Christmas Vacation

These are some of our pics taken when we had a 2 days/1 night Christmas vacation in Tagaytay. It was absolutely a memorable one, the very first time we celebrated Christmas away from Manila and I would say that it was the most grandiose Christmas celebration we have ever had in our entire lives.

By the way, I want to share the story behind the name "Tagaytay".
This is the exact story that I read, here goes... a soldier approached a boy and his father asking about the name of the place, the frightened son shouted to his father, "Taga, Itay!" which meant "strike, father!"; the foreigner, misunderstanding the words, thought that this was what the area was called.

Taal Lake

Back shot picture... even in life vest I was incredibly frightened while riding the boat; I couldn't move, not even a slight turn of the head to pose for pic. We rented a boat going to town of Talisay, Batangas, the most popular jump-off point on the way to Taal Volcano Crater.

Taal Lake

This is the Taal Lake and the cone-shaped volcano that you see is an extinct volcano, the one shown on postcards as Taal Volcano yet it's not the real thing.

Town of Talisay, Batangas (with Brian, my grand-niece)

We were onshore after quite a long boat ride. Sitting while waiting for the horses that we rented and for the tour guides who will show us the way up to the top of the hill where we can view up close the mouth of Taal Volcano.

Hilltop

This is the improvised stairway to reach the highest point of the mountain where you can see down below the Taal Volcano Crater Lake.

Mouth of Taal Volcano
This is the real Taal volcano, it's far different from what the postcards show. The Crater Lake has sulfur content and they say when you swim there, it will instantly bleach your clothes.

Mouth of Taal Volcano... What makes Taal Volcano more unique is the fact that the volcano itself has a lake of its own inside its crater which is called the "Crater Lake". Here's the hilltop view of the beautiful crater, with its placid blue-greenish pool at the center, you could trek down to the Crater Lake but that's another story.

Caleruega Chapel (stands atop a small hill)

Out of luck ... I was not able to see the whole inside of the chapel because there was a private wedding going on at the time we arrived. We waited patiently but got bored after a while, it took so long to finish it all the way to the end of the wedding ceremony itself and add to that the hours they would be spending taking pictures; so I finally decided to say a little prayer even outside the chapel, and afterwards I posed for pic just right before the chapel entrance where part of the inside can be viewed.

Caleruega
Posing here is Gian, Brian's older brother; the one behind this wonderful Christmas in Tagaytay, all expenses paid by him. It was our most memorable Christmas and the overwhelming joy we experienced will certainly leave a mark in our hearts.

Pagcor Casino Tagaytay

It's me! Posing in front of Pagcor, right across Taal Vista. It's a wishing well... I wish I were a millionaire--hahaha! Dreaming, I'm always dreaming--hahaha!

Taal Vista Hotel
Brian posed for pic with me in front of Taal Vista Hotel.

Room 122 of Taal Vista Hotel (with Gian and Brian)
We got the Superior Room for 2 days/1 night stay and the room comes with 1 single bed and 1 queen-sized bed, flat screen TV with cable, telephone, mini ref, hairdryer and in room safe. My looks at age 51--wizened old lady. (lol) Don't look deep focus, I might disappear--hahaha!

My Pic

At long last, I have posted my picture; you can now view my face. My... hmm never mind; just keep your mouth shut if I look so stunning in this photo -- hahaha. Wanna see more of me, better luck next time! hahaha -- they say laughter is indeed the best medicine; it makes our heart healthy that's why I make fun out of everything. But of course, everything must be balanced; there's time for fun and time to be serious or else, if you're not in control of your feelings, people might think you're starting to lose your sanity. Anything in excess is bad and in the case of insanity, I don't think laughter will do you good especially when you laugh and cry all at the same time... So you better watch out, better not cry when you laugh--hahaha.

A World of Duality

When there is sorrow, there is joy,
When there is death, there is life,
When there is hatred, there is love,
When there is war, there is peace,

This is the world we live in--a world of duality; most likely, we wish for the positive ones to happen. It is always healthy to have a positive and good outlook in life and we must not dwell on the negative aspects--seems so easy; yet in a very real sense, it is so hard to carry through or persevere to the end. Obviously, it doesn't end in choosing or yearning alone; we have to act, to pray earnestly, to work hard and leave the rest to God considering the negative side is always at the ready to take its course.

Destiny has two faces which can be either happy or sad--it always come together. Otherwise, we will never know the big difference; like, what success without failure is, what hope without despair is, what is good without evil and so forth. The world gives us a very challenging life worth living and just to keep us going; we will struggle to survive, we will fight to win. The wanting to win the positives of life makes our world go round.

Have a break!

It feels so good to be thought of as special in the eyes of our loved ones, and provides a temporary boost to the ego. A simple reason why more often than not, we forget ourselves for the sake of our loved ones, but in the end when we can no longer afford to do something more for them, to feel important, to feel needed then this is the time we realize that we have been neglecting ourselves for too long. Oftentimes, we fulfill our purpose in life but unfulfilled to live our lives to the fullest. We're dying to earn lots of money to provide our loved ones a better quality of life; but in the process, it's slowly killing us till we find ourselves inside a coffin ... unhappy... discontented. And not because, we're no longer on earth but because we didn't do so much for ourselves ... to have a break ... to appreciate and enjoy each day while we're still alive.

"Courageous--that's how you see me; Successful--that's how you believe in me; Happy--that's what you expect of me; but... Emptiness--that's what is inside of me."
(An excerpt from quotes about emptiness)

Wednesday

Wednesday is the third day of the week,
A very special day to spend with Mama Mary,
A perfect day to honor Her and to pray for all our needs,
A glorious day to express gratitude…
For answered prayers,
A thanksgiving day to praise God...
For all the blessings.

Chance of a Lifetime

People tend to see things the way they wanted it to see,
And taking things for granted is their expertise,
So when the opportune time to grab the chance has come and goes,
Without knowing what they fail to win,
Then, the one and only word they could utter a million times is “If;”

So many "If's" that can’t bring back some important things,
The lost times and all those lost moments of happiness,
The chance of a lifetime is now long gone,
If only they spend time thinking about,“what might have been?”
They won’t feel sorry for themselves,
And now, emptiness is dwelling in their heart.



(I’d rather be Angelina--the winner; than Yaya--the loser :D)

What is God's purpose for me?

I woke-up one morning and you were on my mind, then out of the blue I had reminiscences of our past. Your memories haunt me like a ghost, but yet all I can remember is nothing but miseries. Because of you, I had a broken marriage and a broken dream, a dream of having a whole and happy family that I could call my very own. I felt totally at sea every time your memory lingers on; not to mention, I’m still hurting. Why can’t I put you to rest? A very big question mark in my mind; until, I finally came to the realization that I still have unfinished business with you and must be brought to an end.

For such a long time, my desire “to take revenge” has been deeply rooted within me, and now this desire came into visible manifestation. Thence, I had this sudden urge to search for you through the Internet. Luckily (if I may say so), I found you in Friendster and I had seen your marital status. I presumed you were not referring to our marriage; for you and your mother have had the same opinion. I still remember the day she had called and bluntly told me, “he is not your husband yet; you were just civilly married!" I had been completely demoralized and ashamed in a way, as if I were just trying to be your wife! There have been so many times I have asked myself these questions. If I were her child, would she tell me the same thing? Would she feel the same way my mother feels about our relationship? If we were not husband and wife, so then, what were we? Why did you have to marry me? So many questions left unanswered! I could barely contain myself to look back and I had now a total recall of our past.

In that case, I might as well take advantage of this moment to tell you everything that has not been said and done, so here goes. My word and my pain would not make any difference, so I ended up our relationship. We parted ways and after sometime you came back, we gave us another chance to start all over again. I was so naive to believe the truthfulness of your intention to patch things up. Thus, it was so frustrating to discover that the reconciliation was good for nothing. Considering at so little time, you engaged in an illicit affair setting the finality of our separation. For inexplicable reasons, you had this fear that I would be unfaithful to you and yet in the end, who became one?

I felt like you had played games with my feelings that you had just acted upon your vengeance out on me. All along, the very thing that you would have wanted was to make things turned the other way around, to look like you were the one who left me instead. What a sweet revenge, so to speak! It had been a very odd and disheartening experience; I would have done things differently if I had not accepted the reconciliation, much the same I would have not been very resentful if you had not come back at all. Anyhow, it was far too late to give some thought to the matter and as the saying goes “regrets always at the end;" besides you had been totally out of my life. Under these circumstances, closure has not been possible.

In my mind and in my heart, I need to get even somehow! I now have the eagerness to fulfill certain things that should have been fulfilled so long ago. Still and all, I couldn't possibly prosecute you at this point in time; maybe sometime in the future. However, I’m taking into account other option like downgrading your morality. I’m pretty much sure you will react, you have such a high regard for yourself and you think you're a good man! In the process, it seems you were affected with the way you responded. Then again, I was not completely satisfied in any way. I want something more, something that could hit you and the people around you with a greater impact. Say, as great as in putting you behind bars or anything to that effect.

Until, I interacted with this ministry (Global Media Outreach) giving an on-line bible study. I’m halfway through with the bible study guide (A 30-Day Guide for New Believers) and the words of God are so inspiring that it turned my thinking around. Instead of persecuting you, I'm surrendering you to the Lord. Forgiving is not this easy but through God's grace, He will truly comfort me, heal me and save me. True to His words, God helped me through this battle and He will put it to rest.


Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wickedness schemes."
Psalm 37:8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil."